Teacher: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?” John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
Beautifully manicured lawns are highly sod after.
A bird does not sing because it has an answer. A bird sings because it has a song.
What would you get if you crossed a cow with a porcupine? A steak with a built-in toothpick.
Child: The wind is like the air, only pushier.
Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can’t remember where they leave things.
Never take a pill that has more side effects than you have symptoms!